Scrum is getting old. Two-week sprint after two-week sprint. Ticket after ticket. There’s always another ticket!
We need to put some fun back into our sprints.
I hereby propose “Themed Sprints”. Each sprint will be assigned a theme – to be followed for the duration of the sprint.
Let me propose some suggested themes.
Scottish Accent Theme
All talking done during the sprint (stand-up and everything) is to be done with a Scottish accent. At least once per stand-up, somebody is expected to bellow, “If it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!.” (Don’t forget to watch this classic Saturday Night Live “All Things Scottish” skit.)
Pig Latin Theme
Similar to the Scottish Accent theme. All talking should be done in Pig Latin. Or should I say igpa atinla?
Teenager Theme
This is my favorite.
In the teenager theme sprint, the team members are encouraged to behave like teenagers and the scrum master, subject matter experts, and product owners are the parents. I’d anticipate behavior such as:
- Eye rolling. Team members should roll their eyes, and perhaps give a loud sigh at most everything said by the scrum master
- Team members yelling, “That’s not fair” and slamming a door
- Team members yelling, “Mary’s scrum master doesn’t make HER do documentation. Why should I have to do documentation? I HATE YOU!”
- Team members yelling, “I wish you weren’t my scrum master. I wish I was on another team.”
- Team member, “Why can’t you be like Whitney’s scrum master? She lets her do anything.”
- Scrum Master, “I want this ticket done NOW. If you’re not done with this ticket by this evening, you’re grounded. No more social media for you!”
- Scrum Master, “Why can’t you be more like Luke? He gets all his tickets done by the end of the sprint. We never have to roll his tickets over to the next sprint.”
- Scrum Master, “How many times have I told you that you need to log your hours? We can’t track the project if you don’t log your hours.”
- Team member, “Yeah. Whateverrrrr”
- Team members’ responses should consist primarily of one-syllable responses, preferably just a grunt.
Two Year Old Theme
In the “Two-Year-Old” theme, the team members act like a 2-year-old. Scrum masters, subject matter experts, and product owners are the grown-ups. Behaviors include:
- Team member, “I’m not doing that ticket, and you can’t make me:
- Team member, “I don’t want this ticket. I want that ticket.”
- Team members fidget throughout the meeting.
- Scrum Master, “Don’t make me come over there!”
- Team member, “MINE”
- Team member, “He touched me”
Photo by Jo Szczepanska on Unsplash